Yay, today food tastes more like it's supposed to!

So, day four of Chemo #4, in like a lion just like the snowy March weather...joints ache, feet hurt, neck is sore, legs are jumpy and restless and the ankles ache...how bizzare...fingernails are sensitive and the mouth recognizes nothing familiar... Looks like a nectarine, smells like a nectarine...tastes like...a dental tool...hmmm Looks like an orange, smells like a yummy Westgate fruit drive orange...tastes like...a dental tool ... But alas, success for breakfast from dear hubby....Yup, crepes, cottage cheese a drizzle of maple syrup and a sprinkle of brown sugar!  Nectar of the Gods, it tastes like it's supposed to...yummm.

Had a brief moment of "ah-ha!" on Friday night when someone at the great House of Doc House concert asked how many treatments I had left and I responded "2"...wow, that was a cool feeling...of course at that point I wasn't feeling as icky as I am now, but, only two more repetitions of this, I can handle that...maybe not terribly gracefully but it's only two more right?

When I'm lost in the day to day motions of dealing with all the bizzare body things, time seems to pass by so quickly, at the end of the day I feel like I've accomplished very little and have been a "couch commander" telling whichever kids are around on what to do to keep the household running and even marginally cleaned up... thinking that maybe I need a break from being the couch commander...hmm now how can that happen?

In the meantime, pull out a hand quilting project, try not to poke my sore fingertips and take another couple of Aleve to settle down the aching legs... and watch come curling with my dear hubby :)

Canser treatments update, Chemo #4

Today I got the green light to head into Chemo #4 tomorrow. This is the halfway treatment. Seems bizarre that it's ten weeks since my first treatment. You get into this little coping bubble and time just marches along! Lindsey and Jonathan are playing final playoff eliminations in their basketball seasons and the days are still bright at 6:00pm. .. yay ... Spring is just around the corner and Winter was sweet!


I've recovered from the cold that I battled through this last treatment, it required some significant decision-making to just stay home and rest (very hard for me as most of you know).
- I had a lovely visit from my cousin Ivie and Mike Parker from Calgary,
- was gifted with copious gifts of breads, soups, chilis, cookies and fruits and muffins and a fabulous massage! from K-groups, family and friends and neighbours, as always from your generous spirits to the stomachs of the Pankratz's and the folks that come to visit. So Thankful we are.
- I managed to attend a lot of basketball games for the kids
- Kissed Derek good-bye as he headed out to Kelowna/Big White for a month of skiing and working(clearing snow) with his friend Vaughn.
- Read 15 books, some enlightening and some just "park your mind at the door" reads since that was all I could retain...thank goodness for the Public Library!
- Started a new quilt commission for Mennonite Church Manitoba
- made a great little book bag with Lindsey! go Pre-Calculus!
- enjoyed great "tea-times/coffee-times" with friends who popped in others who delivered meals-on-wheels. Thanks to all of you! and Thanks for the parking money this month too!
- was glad Doug had fewer rehearsals this month since that meant at least he could do the basketball runs with some help from Michael and Derek.
- hope to see Michael's project in the "GOSA" student gallery at the UofM, chosen to represent the 3rd year Architecture program. (till March 2nd)
- Looking forward ( I hope) to the Westgate house concert featuring choirs, band and House of at Pantages theatre
- received a lovely quilt from the Victoria Quilts project which supplies quilts to cancer patients, a lovely and warm gift to receive! My daughter has declared it her new favourite.

So, I'm thankful that by Day 10 of the 21 day treatment cycle, I've felt better and have energy to enjoy lots of life... I know others are not always so fortunate with their treatments. #4 Chemo marks a change in the kind of chemo I receive, I'm now going to something called "Docetaxel". The side effects have less nausea but more body/joint fatigue and aches... and other bizarre effects on fingernails etc...we'll see how I weather this one. Doug is coming to treatment with me tomorrow and I'm happy he can do that during Report card week.
So Thank you for coming on this journey, I'll invite you again to respond via email, phone call or even a visit. You're always welcome. I'll also correct the spelling error in my blog address and include it here, hopefully this time the link will work if you just paste in in your browser window.
BLOG site: http://www.sparetimeobsession.blogspot.com/

Unfortunately the calendar continues to be a bust unless you have a google account...so, untill I find a better way to post, here are the next treatment dates for me:
Feb 29th Chemo #4
March 21 Chemo #5
March 23-April 2nd = Spring Break for Doug and the kids
April 6-9 is Easter Weekend
April 11th Chemo #6 YAYYYY
then 4-6 weeks of detox and recovery before I start 5 weeks of Radiation

So Thanks again for all your prayers, support in many ways, bad jokes (Leo loved it, Karin, always a giggle) and care for all of us (Doug's seen a few Winnipeg Jets' games this season!)
Be well all of you.
Val Pankratz for the crew.
This link seems to work if you have gmail account... haven't quite figured out how to bypass..
Calendar site to paste in your web browser: https://www.google.com/calendar/embed?src=personaltouchbyval%40gmail.com&ctz=America/Winnipeg

yummm, a new nap quilt

So what does a quilter do when she is gifted with a quilt?  She takes a deep breath, drops a tear, pulls the quilt from the box, smoothes the fabric and admires the pattern and colours.  She holds the quilt to her heart and says a prayer of thanks for the creators and for the giver.  Thank you Victoria Quilts and quilters in Steinbach who crafted my gift and thank you Elvira for thinking of me in this very special way.  This quilt will go up to my loft and reside on my nap couch in my own quilt space. I know "it's more blessed to give than to receive" but today this gift was a blessing for me to receive.

How to win the "take care of yourself" challenge?

Treatment #3 has certainly presented challenges to well-being.  I was fighting a cold going in and after treatment it certainly seemed to take over. My usual robust immune system has not been able to  triumph.  Yesterday I thought I was finally over the tipping point and almost ready to say "as healthy as I can be right now" and this morning, stuffy nose and foggy eyes, Lindsey's sick too, how do you stay away from that when you live in the same house and you have to comfort your kid when she feels crappy...  This whole journey of decision making, how much to do before it's too much?  How important is it to "get up and go" with mental and physical energy and when do you rest, rest, rest?  I fear that I'm losing in the "take care of myself" task...maybe it would be easier if I'd move out?  Anyone have a house to sit? hmm...nope that won't work, Doug's out of town Wednesday to Friday this week, I'm still a Mom and have a family to take care of  too :)  Good thing, I'd be bored all by myself...right?
Had a great visit with my cousin and her husband, from Calgary.  The friendship formed when we lived in Calgary has stood the test of time for the whole family, so fun to interact with all of us.
Time to warm up the tea, maybe even time to take a nap before 10 am... what a life...

Val's canser journey

Welcome friends et al: it's been a long time.

(spelling canser wrong is a good way to diminish its power... think? let's try toomer...kemo...raidiashun.. how's that working so far?)

The past few months have been full of adjustments, emotions, new experiences and some grieving. Someone asked me why I wasn't blogging and sharing my walk with others...at the time I was just not ready. As I head into Chemo treatment #3, I think I might be ready...

There are times in our lives where Doug and I have experienced the support of community, and times where I hope we have been able to reciprocate. This cancer diagnosis for me has once again overwhelmed us with generosity and support of those around us. Once again we are reminded of the strength offered in faith and love. One of my kid's teachers went through cancer treatments a number of years ago and during conversation last week, said he almost missed being in the midst of that experience because they had lived every day entirely immersed in their faith and entirely committed to believing in conquering his disease. I don't use that language in my head or verbally, but I could relate to the preoccupation of the journey. I would have to say that the place of God in this journey has been raised numerous times...I'm not sure if I will discover "the" answer but I have already found comfort in the questions.

So, for now, I will be using this site for my updates, uploading a new calendar for every treatment schedule. I hope that this will be a simple way for those of you who wish to keep up on where things are at. As always, I treasure your responses and comments either here on this site of by email to vpank@mts.net. Your walking this journey with me(us) is the Shepherd's staff that I lean on.

So here I will try to keep a running calendar posted so you can see what's up for us in the family.

https://www.google.com/calendar/embed?src=personaltouchbyval%40gmail.com&ctz=America/Winnipeg

So, while I'm at it, I thought I'd put up the pictures of the Quilted Bag project which a number of us attempted. We gathered at the Heritage Centre Gallery last June to start the project and then, again, in October to try to finish. (Brenda has some other pictures of the group at her blog scrapsandstrings.blogspot.com)

This bag was done by a friend in a workshop and a few of us saw hers and wanted one just like it. Mine used up a great textured upholstery fabric that I hadn't quite known what to do with. It's outside my usual colour box but I'm glad the Thistle fabric will be seen and used. The pockets on the outside house a 15 1/2" square ruler, a 6 1/2" x 24 1/2" long ruler, the inside pocket is stiff enough to give protection to a cutting matt and I then added my own zippered pocket to keep a few more things contained. A fun project but the final binding of all the outside edges tried my patience on several levels! I'd take a pointer from my friend Angela and do the upper binding all in one piece around the top next time.

So, I'm looking forward to loading it up for my first retreat in November.