Chemo's done, yipee, let the pickling begin!

So, Day #17 of my last chemo recovery finds me feeling tired mostly, still trying to stay healthy (can't forget that all the usual cycles of low blood counts still occur even in this last treatment) and trying to let the light at the end of the tunnel of chemotherapy, bring joy and elation...but I'm not feeling it.  Sort of disappointed about that but, in some ways not surprised.  Perhaps when the energy starts returning I'll feel a bit more like I'm finished with this nasty phase.  In the meantime, I'll have about two weeks before I start my Radiation therapy.  I've come to peace about the proposed "double" hit that they'll treat me with, not only the surgery site but the upper lymph system at my collar bone as well.  Was a little worried about the effect of radiation on my left arm, but since it seems to be behaving very well without nightly tensor wraps or daily compression sleeves, I'm hopeful that it will withstand another hit with radiation. I'm thinking of radiation as a vinegar bath, which helps things get clean and fresh, eliminates smells and makes things last forever with the right storage...maybe that will be me :) kind of like a ... pickle.

So, to avoid thinking too much about myself and health stuff, I've been indulging in some quilting.  First of all, along with a few friends, I've finally started on the "art" quilt I wanted to do when I first started all this chemo stuff.  I'll be at it for a while, but love the dimensional tricks that I'm getting with colours!

 I also finished my annual benefit quilt for the Westgate Bursary Banquet auction and was quite happy with its turnout.  Stepped outside of the colour box and went white with a "2 1/2" charm pack" of VERNA squares and a fresh striped binding by Michael Miller.  Turned out to be a lot of fun, the white on white texture from the quilting was a hoot and gives me the itch to try out more radical modern techniques.  So here are the pics, not the greatest quality but I always seem to almost forget to take them before I give them away... I called it "Spring Thistle" (of course because of the thistle pattern quilted in).

#6 delivered,10 days to deal with it, YAY

Here's the update that went out by email this week,

Hello friends and family.  It's been a busy week!  First and foremost, in spite a two day delay again, waiting for the blood levels to get healthy enough to treat, on Friday, April 20, we finally accomplished Treatment #6.  It was an interesting feeling, a turning point and on to stage 3 of this cancer treatment: radiation therapy.  When they informed me my PICC line could also be removed I was almost nervous, that was the tap line for chemo and bloodwork for the past few months.  But, "TAKE IT OUT" was my option and now I feel strangely set free... how bizzare.  I was thankful that Doug could once again be released from his day at school to come with me to this last treatment.

So, now it's the standard three week cycle to allow the chemo to do it's job, (the familiar "dentist dust" mouth taste has arrived even quicker this time around) then it's a last Dr's appt with Dr. Pitz and nurse Linda, before he turns me over to Radiation Oncologist Dr. Cooke  and nurse Barb, to monitor and care for me during Radiation.  Radiation will likely start after the long weekend in May and go for six weeks, putting me at about the last week in June for completion.

As always, I've felt well cared for by my medical team and supper(intentional mis-spell) well cared for again by our community of friends and family.  Thanks so much the for relevant and unique ways you continue to accompany us as a family on this journey.

We had my Dad and Ruth in for a visit this past week and it was GOOD!  Derek is back from Kelowna with great new skiing skills and good stories of learning how to live with four room-mates in their condo.  He's expressed appreciation for "a cat to pet" "nice sharp knives to chop veggies" and a "frying pan that your eggs don't stick in".  The small practicalities of life, newly appreciated.  HE's now looking for work, hopefully to be found soon.

  

Michael started a job in lawn care this week, he's excited about doing outside work and not having to tap his creative brain for a while.  His 3rd year architecture year has been good and he's looking forward to fourth year and degree next year.  

Lindsey is away on a 10day Choir Tour with Westgate, she's discovered Akron, PA, New York City, Washington, Elkhart IN, Chicago and whole lot of bus time.  We're looking forward to her arrival home on Monday night.

Jonathan is into practices for Flag football and looking forward to riding his bike to school next week since the weather is supposed to turn to spring again.

Doug is pulling long hours teaching (as usual) and coaching Badminton (lots of after school running around to practices) 

So there's a picture of our past month.  We're looking forward to outside time and I'm experiencing what "chemo-hair re-growth" looks and feels like.  It's fuzzy and irregular and "aack" kind of white...apparently that might not last...

#6 on the way, but not today...sigh

Well, in the past few weeks dealing with the #5 chemo effects have had me anchored to the couch, my favourite chair, my bed ,and had me working verrry slowly in my loft.  I've been careful about deciding where my energy goes, and evaluating how much my immune system might be challenged in large crowds   So, I missed some Easter Events, said no-can-do to some concerts and even had a nap in Sunday morning church for the first time in my life!( I don't think I snored...maybe it would have passed for beat boxing in the hymn?)

I haven't been able to decide if the gloomy, cooler weather has made it easier to be fatigued or if it's stopped me from being more active (which might give me more energy).  I've decided to try the other approach through the next treatment...time to get on the bike and roll, I can always nap on a park bench if I need to...hmmm I think I'll outfit a panier with picnic blanket and a pillow...that should do it :)

So, according to schedule, tomorrow, April 18th should have been treatment #6 day, but, once again, my body has not managed to bounce back and make enough "neutrophils" fast enough so, the blood counts were too low and I'm waiting again. Dr says it's not uncommon for the body to take longer to come back by this stage of treatment so, apparently I'm still doing great, the low numbers are good indicators that chemo is actually doing what it's supposed to (that's good) and we'll try again for Friday, April 20th...okay,two more days to enjoy the taste of food before the tastebuds go south again. I'm good to go, I know once the first 10 days are tolerated, it'll be home stretch and bye bye chemo toxins, out of the body...looking forward to that! I probably don't even realize how many "discomforts" I just put up with every day...I hope things can go back to normal and not too much damage has been done to the good...Let's go Friday.

On a completely different note, the fabrics in the quilt below are the same line that I'm using for the Westgate Bursary Banquet Benefit quilt.  Same fabrics, quite a different (and Val Pankratz original) pattern.  The blanket below is from http://thedomina.blogspot.ca/2011/03/verna-baby-quilt.html .  If you're interested in an evening of music, a great meal, good company and opportunities to win great prizes and support the Bursary Fund for Westgate, let me know!  I'd be happy to set up a table for you.  Bring some friends.  I'll post the quilt when I'm finished quilting it!  ( hopefully by Friday, since I now have more time to feel better and get some work done).

Chemo #5, take three

Five days of waiting for the body to rejeuvenate...and really having no real power to influence how quickly that happens. 
Bit of a wake up call in a few ways:
- I realized how I'd been banking on counting days and had started planning around the days I knew I'd be past the first 7 day onslaught of feeling crappy.
- I discovered that I get a little ticked when things don't go according to plan...(sorry fam-jam for taking that out on you...)
- took the opportunity to be honest about how disappointed I was and realize that dogged determination and overall good nature is really fragile and easily shaken.  Made me even more thankful the general feeling of optimism and hope that has carried me so far.
- Reached deep and said a prayer for folks in cancer treatment who find it difficult to find energy every day and feel crappy all through treatment.  Have deep respect for their walk.
- Went to the Winnipeg Singers concert, sat with (almost all my kids, miss you Derek) and listened to Doug and choir lift voices in a true acoustical celebration of sound...ooooow...goose bumps and shivers it was so beautiful...just what I needed to find the patience to wait the next few days...
- turned up the heat in the loft and enjoyed myself :)

Tomorrow is blood tests, Green light (hopefully), meeting with Radiation Oncologist to find out what happens after Chemo #6, and then, (hopefully) Chemo #5 at 10:00 am.  Sounds like it should have a "Mambo #5" kind of rythym to it! Might wait till after it's all done before I bust a move.

Treatment #5 postponed...again...sigh

Well, I went in for treatment again today, Friday, and once again, Blood counts were still too low so Dr decided to wait till Tuesday for my next chemo treatment. Acceptable levels of "Neutrophils"  for treatment (or better known as the immune system count) are 1.0 and I was .9... normal levels for most of you are between 1.5 and 8.00.  I imagine it's all for the best and will do my best to rest and let the body bounce back from that last treatment. Still no fever and I feel fine otherwise, kind of tired, so had a nap today...x2 which is why I'm up at this hour...sigh.  Oh well, at least the strawberries I'm snacking on still taste like strawberries... and the ribs for supper (Thanks Sheila and Phil!) were the absolute best ever!

The school bound family folks are all excited about being off for Spring Break... I bet that means there will be coffee brewed and maybe even breakfast made for me in the morning...

I think I'll turn the heat on in the loft space and meander up there with my morning coffee and finish the benefit quilt for the Westgate Bursary fundraising banuqet on May 1...anyone want a ticket to the banquet?  let me know.  Want a preview of the quilt?  Here's a hint on the picture below..."same, same, but different, very different"...

Chemo #5 update

Well, all this Winnipeg spring weather is great for the soul... but probably had me washing too many windows and overseeing too much cleaning in the front porch... Which led my blood counts to be low on Tuesday when I went in....and... which led to the red flag of "STOP" to my treatment today, Wednesday.

However, not to be too concerned, we've rescheduled for this Friday, March 23rd, and Dr. is confident that a couple of days of taking it easy... aka no more washing windows... and my blood counts will be back up to snuff and able to tolerate the next treatment.

Ironically, I've felt really good for the last week and have enjoyed my social interactions greatly...Thanks to all you friends who continue to invite "chemo-food-wild-card" out for dinner and lunch and put up with my "filterless" humour.  I get life and energy from all of you.

I've felt the absence of Son#2 this month, Derek is having a blast shoveling snow and skiing in Big White, near Kelowna, BC.  Michael's stepped into deliver and pick-up for appointments which means his schedule in Architecture has lightened up as well.  We've closed down Basketball seasons for Lindsey and Jonathan, and we're so happy to see the growth that each of them made in their skills...  Doug is into back to back rehearsals for Winnipeg Singers and Canzona which means I get to attend two great concerts in the next two weeks, always a treat, although I find I have to pack tissues because I'm a little weepy these days, and great music just gets me going....

Looking ahead, (and we're always careful to say "If things go according to plan") I have an appointment with Radiation Oncologist, on Tuesday, March 27.  I imagine this will be a preliminary discussion about what Radiation  sessions will look like and when they will start.  I won't begin to guess at a schedule at this point, good information suggests that I will be looking at at least a four to six weeks of "once a day, five days a week", treatment.  

My spirits are good at this stage of the game.  I'm thankful for my kids and hubby and they're good-natured fetch and carry attitudes.  I'm also thankful for my newly re-upholstered old comfy chair, I spend a fair bit of time there!  I try to walk around the block once a day and am still appalled at how long it takes and how winded I am at a little, little hill... but the days I walk around the park and I feel good, I'm glad that I make the effort on the tough days.  My biggest dilemma is deciding what to wear on my head...not quite ready to go "in flagrante" with the bald head in public...because after this last chemo the eye lashes and eyebrows are on the run...  look only if you're brave, there's no "Look good Feel better" make-up touches here!

Yay, today food tastes more like it's supposed to!

So, day four of Chemo #4, in like a lion just like the snowy March weather...joints ache, feet hurt, neck is sore, legs are jumpy and restless and the ankles ache...how bizzare...fingernails are sensitive and the mouth recognizes nothing familiar... Looks like a nectarine, smells like a nectarine...tastes like...a dental tool...hmmm Looks like an orange, smells like a yummy Westgate fruit drive orange...tastes like...a dental tool ... But alas, success for breakfast from dear hubby....Yup, crepes, cottage cheese a drizzle of maple syrup and a sprinkle of brown sugar!  Nectar of the Gods, it tastes like it's supposed to...yummm.

Had a brief moment of "ah-ha!" on Friday night when someone at the great House of Doc House concert asked how many treatments I had left and I responded "2"...wow, that was a cool feeling...of course at that point I wasn't feeling as icky as I am now, but, only two more repetitions of this, I can handle that...maybe not terribly gracefully but it's only two more right?

When I'm lost in the day to day motions of dealing with all the bizzare body things, time seems to pass by so quickly, at the end of the day I feel like I've accomplished very little and have been a "couch commander" telling whichever kids are around on what to do to keep the household running and even marginally cleaned up... thinking that maybe I need a break from being the couch commander...hmm now how can that happen?

In the meantime, pull out a hand quilting project, try not to poke my sore fingertips and take another couple of Aleve to settle down the aching legs... and watch come curling with my dear hubby :)