Chemo #5, take three

Five days of waiting for the body to rejeuvenate...and really having no real power to influence how quickly that happens. 
Bit of a wake up call in a few ways:
- I realized how I'd been banking on counting days and had started planning around the days I knew I'd be past the first 7 day onslaught of feeling crappy.
- I discovered that I get a little ticked when things don't go according to plan...(sorry fam-jam for taking that out on you...)
- took the opportunity to be honest about how disappointed I was and realize that dogged determination and overall good nature is really fragile and easily shaken.  Made me even more thankful the general feeling of optimism and hope that has carried me so far.
- Reached deep and said a prayer for folks in cancer treatment who find it difficult to find energy every day and feel crappy all through treatment.  Have deep respect for their walk.
- Went to the Winnipeg Singers concert, sat with (almost all my kids, miss you Derek) and listened to Doug and choir lift voices in a true acoustical celebration of sound...ooooow...goose bumps and shivers it was so beautiful...just what I needed to find the patience to wait the next few days...
- turned up the heat in the loft and enjoyed myself :)

Tomorrow is blood tests, Green light (hopefully), meeting with Radiation Oncologist to find out what happens after Chemo #6, and then, (hopefully) Chemo #5 at 10:00 am.  Sounds like it should have a "Mambo #5" kind of rythym to it! Might wait till after it's all done before I bust a move.

Treatment #5 postponed...again...sigh

Well, I went in for treatment again today, Friday, and once again, Blood counts were still too low so Dr decided to wait till Tuesday for my next chemo treatment. Acceptable levels of "Neutrophils"  for treatment (or better known as the immune system count) are 1.0 and I was .9... normal levels for most of you are between 1.5 and 8.00.  I imagine it's all for the best and will do my best to rest and let the body bounce back from that last treatment. Still no fever and I feel fine otherwise, kind of tired, so had a nap today...x2 which is why I'm up at this hour...sigh.  Oh well, at least the strawberries I'm snacking on still taste like strawberries... and the ribs for supper (Thanks Sheila and Phil!) were the absolute best ever!

The school bound family folks are all excited about being off for Spring Break... I bet that means there will be coffee brewed and maybe even breakfast made for me in the morning...

I think I'll turn the heat on in the loft space and meander up there with my morning coffee and finish the benefit quilt for the Westgate Bursary fundraising banuqet on May 1...anyone want a ticket to the banquet?  let me know.  Want a preview of the quilt?  Here's a hint on the picture below..."same, same, but different, very different"...

Chemo #5 update

Well, all this Winnipeg spring weather is great for the soul... but probably had me washing too many windows and overseeing too much cleaning in the front porch... Which led my blood counts to be low on Tuesday when I went in....and... which led to the red flag of "STOP" to my treatment today, Wednesday.

However, not to be too concerned, we've rescheduled for this Friday, March 23rd, and Dr. is confident that a couple of days of taking it easy... aka no more washing windows... and my blood counts will be back up to snuff and able to tolerate the next treatment.

Ironically, I've felt really good for the last week and have enjoyed my social interactions greatly...Thanks to all you friends who continue to invite "chemo-food-wild-card" out for dinner and lunch and put up with my "filterless" humour.  I get life and energy from all of you.

I've felt the absence of Son#2 this month, Derek is having a blast shoveling snow and skiing in Big White, near Kelowna, BC.  Michael's stepped into deliver and pick-up for appointments which means his schedule in Architecture has lightened up as well.  We've closed down Basketball seasons for Lindsey and Jonathan, and we're so happy to see the growth that each of them made in their skills...  Doug is into back to back rehearsals for Winnipeg Singers and Canzona which means I get to attend two great concerts in the next two weeks, always a treat, although I find I have to pack tissues because I'm a little weepy these days, and great music just gets me going....

Looking ahead, (and we're always careful to say "If things go according to plan") I have an appointment with Radiation Oncologist, on Tuesday, March 27.  I imagine this will be a preliminary discussion about what Radiation  sessions will look like and when they will start.  I won't begin to guess at a schedule at this point, good information suggests that I will be looking at at least a four to six weeks of "once a day, five days a week", treatment.  

My spirits are good at this stage of the game.  I'm thankful for my kids and hubby and they're good-natured fetch and carry attitudes.  I'm also thankful for my newly re-upholstered old comfy chair, I spend a fair bit of time there!  I try to walk around the block once a day and am still appalled at how long it takes and how winded I am at a little, little hill... but the days I walk around the park and I feel good, I'm glad that I make the effort on the tough days.  My biggest dilemma is deciding what to wear on my head...not quite ready to go "in flagrante" with the bald head in public...because after this last chemo the eye lashes and eyebrows are on the run...  look only if you're brave, there's no "Look good Feel better" make-up touches here!

Yay, today food tastes more like it's supposed to!

So, day four of Chemo #4, in like a lion just like the snowy March weather...joints ache, feet hurt, neck is sore, legs are jumpy and restless and the ankles ache...how bizzare...fingernails are sensitive and the mouth recognizes nothing familiar... Looks like a nectarine, smells like a nectarine...tastes like...a dental tool...hmmm Looks like an orange, smells like a yummy Westgate fruit drive orange...tastes like...a dental tool ... But alas, success for breakfast from dear hubby....Yup, crepes, cottage cheese a drizzle of maple syrup and a sprinkle of brown sugar!  Nectar of the Gods, it tastes like it's supposed to...yummm.

Had a brief moment of "ah-ha!" on Friday night when someone at the great House of Doc House concert asked how many treatments I had left and I responded "2"...wow, that was a cool feeling...of course at that point I wasn't feeling as icky as I am now, but, only two more repetitions of this, I can handle that...maybe not terribly gracefully but it's only two more right?

When I'm lost in the day to day motions of dealing with all the bizzare body things, time seems to pass by so quickly, at the end of the day I feel like I've accomplished very little and have been a "couch commander" telling whichever kids are around on what to do to keep the household running and even marginally cleaned up... thinking that maybe I need a break from being the couch commander...hmm now how can that happen?

In the meantime, pull out a hand quilting project, try not to poke my sore fingertips and take another couple of Aleve to settle down the aching legs... and watch come curling with my dear hubby :)