Five days of waiting for the body to rejeuvenate...and really having no real power to influence how quickly that happens.
Bit of a wake up call in a few ways:
- I realized how I'd been banking on counting days and had started planning around the days I knew I'd be past the first 7 day onslaught of feeling crappy.
- I discovered that I get a little ticked when things don't go according to plan...(sorry fam-jam for taking that out on you...)
- took the opportunity to be honest about how disappointed I was and realize that dogged determination and overall good nature is really fragile and easily shaken. Made me even more thankful the general feeling of optimism and hope that has carried me so far.
- Reached deep and said a prayer for folks in cancer treatment who find it difficult to find energy every day and feel crappy all through treatment. Have deep respect for their walk.
- Went to the Winnipeg Singers concert, sat with (almost all my kids, miss you Derek) and listened to Doug and choir lift voices in a true acoustical celebration of sound...ooooow...goose bumps and shivers it was so beautiful...just what I needed to find the patience to wait the next few days...
- turned up the heat in the loft and enjoyed myself :)
Tomorrow is blood tests, Green light (hopefully), meeting with Radiation Oncologist to find out what happens after Chemo #6, and then, (hopefully) Chemo #5 at 10:00 am. Sounds like it should have a "Mambo #5" kind of rythym to it! Might wait till after it's all done before I bust a move.
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